Overcoming Adversity with Steadfast Faith:
In Conversation with Shelley
By Alexa Le
Each person battling breast cancer will have their own unique story, and there will never be two individuals with precisely the same journey and emotions.
This was the main insight I gained after recently having the opportunity to speak with Shelley, a Southern California local who was diagnosed with “unsurvivable” stage 4 breast cancer in 2015, according to the doctors she had consulted at the time. Yet, the fact that I had the pleasure of speaking to her towards this year’s end says quite a bit about the trajectory of her journey.
The first thing that struck me about Shelley right off the bat was the simultaneous strength and warmth that permeated her voice throughout our conversation, present in both our initial introductions as well as her recount of the more difficult times in her life. When I asked her to tell me a bit about herself, as I knew nothing about her going into this interview, she began by heavily emphasizing not just her cancer diagnosis, but how her diagnosis played a role in her journey of gradual self-development.
“I was a bartender all my life,” she said, moving on to emphasize her unique living situations in both a boat as well as a motor home for three years. The occupation she held, she noted, facilitated her engagement in many unhealthy habits, from drinking to drugs to smoking cigarettes. “Needless to say, I had completely lost all direction and control of my life until I woke up one day and just came to a sudden realization about what I was doing to myself,” Shelley stated.
That was the first turning point in her life. From there on, she spoke to me about how she met her boyfriend at the time, who strongly advised her to read the Bible. She wasn’t heavily religious before this, but she opened the Bible that very night and in her own words, “immediately quit everything: the alcohol, the drugs, the cigarettes, and [her] job as a
bartender.” Shelley has been sober ever since, starting to work at Vons and got her own place the March of that same year. She cites her motivation to change her circumstances as her steadfast belief in the Lord, for that is what gave her the strength to completely turn her life around, emphasizing her gratitude as she recounted her past.
However, Shelley’s life changed once again in 2015, when she received her harrowing stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis at the age of 47. I asked her, “Did you already have an inkling when going in to talk to the doctors or did it come as a complete surprise?” Many individuals battling breast cancer tend to have a degree of suspicion before going in to see their doctors, from self-examination or an intuition regarding their health. It was the opposite for Shelley, as she expressed to me just how much of a shock it was at the time.
Notably, it was even a surprise to the doctors she was in the care of, as they specifically communicated to her that it was one of the worst cases they had ever seen while practicing. “They also told me there was absolutely no way I would survive,” she said with a disbelieving laugh. Clearly, this was not true. As I listened in incredulity, I was amazed by not only her determination to beat her odds but also by the lightness with which she spoke.
“I felt like I was standing at the crossroads of life and death, and my faith told me to choose life,” she remarked powerfully. And so she did. She attended all of her doctor’s appointments by herself, utilizing her faith and resolve as tools to build her resilience. “I look back now and realize that it has gotten me through everything.”
She then took this time to mention another extremely important aspect of her journey: our Breast Cancer Angels organization and all of the kind-hearted individuals who helped her during those trying times. They notably supported her financially, providing her with rent checks while in treatment and struggled to pay her bills. When she finally was able to afford her rent, food was scarce, so she called the organization again and they gave her Trader Joe’s and Walmart gift cards to carry her through.
However, beyond that, the organization was also a great pillar of strength and support for Shelley, both emotionally and mentally. “Debbie, the executive director, in particular, has been a great friend to me all these years,” she expressed to me. “We spoke on the phone for a very long time before ever meeting in person, and she was the first person to hear the whole truth about my journey. Funnily enough, we first met in the bathroom at a softball event, where we recognized each other purely from the sound of each other’s voices after speaking to each other all these years. She embraced me and invited me to play on her team. I played whenever I felt good enough.” As she recounted these stories and funny coincidences, her gratitude, admiration, and appreciation truly shone through for each person who helped her along the way.
It has been many years since her initial diagnosis, consisting of various therapies and treatments, and I am happy to report that Shelley is doing wonderfully in her current clinical trial, where they have been using her own tissues to synthesize a unique treatment for her. As we neared the end of our conversation, she gave me her closing thoughts on everything her breast cancer journey has taught her. Specifically mentioning that she sees everything in a new light, she believes that this path has given her back just as much, if not more, than what it has taken from her. “As crazy as it sounds, this has been a blessing in many ways.”
Shelley’s perspective regarding her circumstances is not only inspiring; it is also diverse and unique. Not many people would consider breast cancer to be a “blessing,” but her worldview of positivity even in the most trying of times is truly a testament to both her faith as well as her strength. We all can learn a great deal from Shelley, taking the messages she has expressed to me during this interview and applying them to our own lives in whatever manner we choose.
While we wrapped up, I asked her one final question: “If you could say anything to others battling breast cancer, what would you say?”
She responded powerfully, “Choose life and don’t give up.”
This interview was conducted by Alexa Le with Shelley, who graciously presented a speech detailing her journey at a recent Breast Cancer Angels fundraiser, also written by Alexa. The contents of the speech are represented in this article.