Eulogy for Jean
“What Would Jean Do?“ Oct. 31, 2009
Thank you for joining us as we honor Jean’s life, her uniqueness, and her own special gifts that she shared with the rest of the world. We are celebrating Jean’s life, her connections with family and friends, and all those who loved her. Who can say it better than Hallmark? Well, Jean can. I have the honor of reading words prepared by Jean for this event. As you know, Jean was a planner, so it is no surprise; she planned for this occasion as well.
I quote Jean,
“Goodbye: Wow. What can I say? If you are reading this, my battle with cancer is over. Please know that I am in a better place, and my body is whole. I can’t thank you enough for all you did for me. I know after taking care of mom and dad, that you were burdened at least emotionally by my illness and life. I also know that God could have called me home much earlier than He did. I am thankful that I was born and that I was able to enjoy so much of my life. I am so thankful for my family, friends, co-workers and caregivers. I pray that I touched each of you in some memorable way.” Close quote.
Jean Kay Bulicz was born on February 2, 1967 in Lakewood, California. Born in to a strong Catholic family residing in Lakewood. Her family consisted of two loving parents. She was the youngest sibling of three girls and two boys. Jean attended Gompers Elementary school, Bancroft Junior High, and Lakewood High School where she won the Spanish award and was editor of the newspaper. She went on to graduate from CSULB with a BA in Business. Over the years she resided in Lakewood, Los Alamitos, (with her roommate and dear friend, Sarah for three years), then in Cypress, and finally in Garden Grove. She was a member of St. Cornelius church, and later attended St. Joseph ’s parish. Jean was a twelve-year cancer survivor, being diagnosed with breast cancer one week after her 31st birthday.
Later the disease developed in to bone and liver cancer. She went home to Jesus 7:30 AM on Saturday, Oct. 31st. The ending is rather poetic as October is national breast cancer awareness month. Jean was born on Ground Hog’s day, and died on Halloween, the day before All Saints Day, two days before the Day of the Dead. Her Mother was born on Valentine’s Day and died on Christmas. The Bulicz’ have an affinity for holidays! Leave it to Jean to even die perfectly! I am sure no one here is one bit surprised as she always did everything right.
Jean made jokes (a true sign of her resilience) when there were times of crisis. I know she would want her memoir to be light, so indulge me as I make a feeble attempt to emulate her witty character.
For those of you who don’t know, her favorite color was blue, her favorite shape- a heart, favorite animal-a cat (she had two that she regarded as her babies: Hope and Faith). Growing up she had a large cat named Nicky. Her favorite flower, a tulip, favorite collection-angels, favorite dessert, a pizookie at BJ’s, favorite TV series, “Little House on the Prairie,” favorite musical, The Sound of Music (and little known fact, Jean had a beautiful voice.) Her favorite sayings were, “It is what it is.” And “ Winna, winna, lobstah dinnah!” Those are her stats, but if you are here, it is because you know Jean on a different level. You probably know Jean as a family member, friend, co-worker, neighbor, patient, community, or church member.
As a patient, Jean kept Breast Link on their toes. Her intellect and wit made her a self-advocate with a loving demeanor. Who would be a patient patient while enduring excruciating pain? Jean would.
A special thank you Dr. Link, Dr. Eberle, and the Breast Link staff, as well as the hospice workers who assisted Jean.
As a community and church member, Jean was an outstanding citizen giving freely of her time, talent and treasure. She attended church weekly, and she was not a Sunday Christian, she was a 24/7 Christian. She donated her treasure generously to her charity of choice, Breast Cancer Angels.
She donated her talent in writing and sponsoring, Yan-Yan a Chinese girl through World Vision. Which when she found out the end was near, she paid through Yan-Yan’s 18th birthday to make sure that she would be provided for. Who would think of others first while dying? Jean would.
She donated her time, (her most valuable resource, and who can say that more than Jean?), to CASA (Court Appointed Student Advocate) for OC. She mentored two little girls by spending her every healthy weekend with them taking them on fieldtrips throughout the community.
This is just a partial list of her charitable good deeds, it would take us all day to enumerate all of her benevolence, but you get the picture. Who would donate their time, when it is knowingly limited? Jean would.
Who would donate money in this economy and there are medical bills to pay? Say it if you know it. Jean would.
Who would donate talent and not be compensated for it? Jean would.
Jean was also an outstanding neighbor. She visited previous neighbors, and gave them her time when she was physically able. Who would take time nowadays to do that? Jean would.
She loved being a member of a community, and reaching her goal of owning a condo. Thank you to her neighbors and community members who watched out for her. A special thank you to her fellow church members for praying for her.
Jean was also a superior co-worker. She worked for Rockwell Collins for 18 Years. She felt like her peers were another family. She said through tears one of the last times I talked with her, “I just want to go back to work.” I thought clearly, she must be seriously ill, because who would say they want to go to work? Jean would.
Thank you to her coworkers and especially supervisors who looked at the person above the payroll.
There are those like myself who know Jean as a friend. When 70’s singing siblings Donny and Marie Osmond’s mother recently died, the oldest of numerous siblings stood up at the funeral and said, “I was my Mom’s favorite child.” The audience stirred. He repeated, “No, it’s true. I was my Mom’s favorite child.” “ I know you feel like you could say that is true of yourself, and I know this, because she made every child feel like her favorite.” When I heard this, I thought that is Jean. I am Jean’s best friend. I bet many of you in this audience take offense to that remark, but what is true of Mrs. Osmond, is true of Jean, she made each one of us feel like her best friend. Like we were the only one that mattered. Who could do that? Jean could.
I could NEVER list all of the friends Jean had. If Jean attended, organized or was in your wedding or baby shower, please raise your hand. True she was always a bridesmaid; never a bride, always a godmother, never a Mom, but no one could fill her shoes. Who could stand to go to all those wedding and baby showers, and play all those party games with a smile? Jean could.
To her friends, I am sure you share my sentiment when I say that I was never the friend to Jean that she was to me. Wow! What a priceless gift we were given. Thank you for being friends not just for the road, but also for the journey. Ladies, I would like to keep her memory alive by keeping in touch and meeting on occasion to share our favorite Jeanisms. Please be sure to sign the gal pal contact sheet if you would be interested in joining me.
Last, but certainly not least, Jean’s role as a family member. Jean’s family was her pride and joy. She endured the hardship of the passing of both of her parents. She spoke fondly and frequently of the family. Ann and John, and their children and grand children: JoAnn, John and babies Eloise and Schaefer. John Jr., Margie, and the Boys, Keoni and Luke. Margaret and Kurt, and their dogs, Ed and Barbara and their cats, (including Hope and Faith’s sibling, Junie Moon). Jim and Leslie and their girls Julie and Jeremy and their baby Kaylee Marie, and Janelle and Brian and their son James Thomas with one on the way, (which Jean shared with me pained her to think that she would never meet, and she would never see the other ones grow up.)
I am sure she was just secretly looking forward to playing more wedding and baby shower games.
She jokingly said to me towards the end. “When I’m gone, who’s going to be the planner in this family?” I trust you are going to work that out just fine, and keep her memory alive for generations to come. Thank you for being a loving family.
As the author, Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
I am sure you would agree that Jean was a success. Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Philosopher, essayist and poet defined success as, “to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
Kay Henley wrote a poem entitled, “I was born for a Purpose”. In coming to a close, I would like to share it with you inserting Jean’s name for I.
Jean was born for a purpose
To do something right
To provide inspiration
To show Christ’s life.
Jean was born for a reason
To make changes in this world
To proclaim our Lord and Savior,
To tell people God’s word
Jean was born in this time.
Determined by God above.
He wanted her spirit here and now
To tell of Christ’s love.
Jean was born for a purpose
Born for this time
God gave her life
He had a purpose in mind!
I talked to Jean on the phone every night for 25 years with rare exception. She was my best friend, counselor, confidant, role model, accountability partner, and sister in Christ. Although Jean was never a wife or mother, much to her chagrin, she was a person born with a purpose. It was her daily cross to bear her cancer with faith, hope, strength, courage, and love, knowing that Christian and non-believer alike were watching. She would express her concern about not being a good witness to God’s grace. To me, she was the model Christian. If you are not a Christian, maybe you won’t spend your time thinking about the old adage. WWJD (What would Jesus Do?) but perhaps we can bring honor to her name by thinking, “What would Jean do?” Today I briefly shared what Jean would do. She loved others unconditionally. She loved people in spite of, not because of.
My challenge to us all is to keep Jean’s memory alive. Every time we do a race for the cure, or donate money to the cause, every time we are that special friend and act selflessly. Every time we embrace work and those that are there toiling with us. Every time we visit a neighbor in need. Every time we give a card, send an email, or call a family member, every time we show compassion to an animal or a child, that is what Jean would do. I trust that God greeted her at the gate and said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant, well done.”
First Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.” Now may we all go forth in faith, hope and love in remembrance and honor to the greatest patient, neighbor, community and church member, coworker, friend and family member we have ever had the honor of knowing.
Thank you for this privilege, may Peace be with you.
